(well more like short messages to several individuals unconcerned enough to never read this blog)

well hi. i don't know. maybe we're just not cool enough. not the kind of crowd you'd like to hang out with. what does time mean to you? is it just a measure of how long have we known each other. or a testament to the strength of our friendship? maybe back then we were the best you could get and subsequently we just got superseded by someone(s) better. for you it always seems that the new is always better. well i guess it's not all that bad except that i really hate a non-reciprocal relationship. i don't know how long i can keep up with this but, we'll see.

and you. hm you. you're a tricky one. i've always liked you enough to tolerate your oddities but you know, there's just one regenerating land mine planted in me that you never fail to deliberately step on. but it doesn't hurt you; you're armoured with your unyielding callousness. it hurts only me. so stop, please?

ah now you. hm. i think the whole episode you had with a certain someone has affected the dynamics in our friendship. i'm very thoroughly sorry but i am a rather judgmental person. i just can't view you the same way anymore. well to be honest i've always felt we'd never click perfectly because.........well........ i've no idea how to say this but, you're just not as smart. i'm not saying i am a genius but i've always been in an environment with fairly intelligent people all my life so, well let's just say it was hard. and it's harder now.

and me, well supposing the theory of parallel universes proves true (which, i suppose theoretically, is highly likely), hello other me. do you think you'll ever be happy in life? what do you think will actually make you happy anyway? do you feel, like me, that you're never just, generally happy? i mean, of course you laugh when you're with people; you're happy to share a joke (or at least provide the track of laughter succeeding one), but like, just...... being happy without any triggers? do you think you can ever do that? i've tried. but the fact that i have to try to be happy... i don't know. it's just depressing to me.